Sime
Senior Member
Cash: $ 86.60
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Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Location: United Kingdom
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| Re: Joke of the day award:) |
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quote:
Originally posted by LottomagicZ4941
Joke of the day award:)
Found on http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259109
"A visitor to a mental institution asked the Director how he decided which patients should be kept in...
The Director said "We fill the bath with water, then offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub"
The visitor said "Oh, I see...a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's biggest"
The Director said "No, a normal person would pull the [edited]ing plug out...would you like a bed near the window?"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah!
Not all countries can afford... a lavish monarchy.
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Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:53 pm |
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LottomagicZ4941
Senior Member
Cash: $ 1.66
Posts: 2633
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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| Re: Joke of the day award:) |
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quote:
Originally posted by Mr Jepps Se
quote:
Originally posted by LottomagicZ4941
Joke of the day award:)
Found on http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259109
"A visitor to a mental institution asked the Director how he decided which patients should be kept in...
The Director said "We fill the bath with water, then offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub"
The visitor said "Oh, I see...a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's biggest"
The Director said "No, a normal person would pull the [edited]ing plug out...would you like a bed near the window?"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah!
Glad you enjoyed.
Janet of 3's comp fame got into some legal trouble so here is the advert of the day.
Dui got you down how about a free lotto pool ticket.
http://www.freelottomagic.com/?sponsor=Z1212
Heard this one in real life from a mechanic.
A man comes out of a bar and he tries to get his keys into a car. Drops them and moves on to the next car.
A police officer is watching him do this. After a few more cars he drives off in one so the officer pulls him over.
He passes the soberity test. The officer is suprized and says, "I really thought you were drunk" and the guy responds
"No, I'm just the designated decoy." as his friends left the bar.
Note to all drinking and driving bad but if a
DUI got you down how about a free lotto pool ticket.
http://www.freelottomagic.com/?sponsor=Z1212
Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
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Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:17 am |
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LottomagicZ4941
Senior Member
Cash: $ 1.66
Posts: 2633
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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quote:
Originally posted by jewelryxp
The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!!!"
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.
From http://www.money-talk.org/msg51883.html#51883
LOL
Yes that was a good one. Was prepaired for disapointment when I saw your "Is this the funniest intro"
Was it Dobson who got pulled over when he was younger and got detained after cursing. Officer said he thought the car was stolen cuz a Christian wouldn't talk like that.
Then there are the ministers who won't put the Jesus fish on their car's cuz then they would have to drive better.
One forum blocked this as a hate symbol <><
How come the Holy Ghost wouldn't play the lotto?
Didn't think it would be fair already knowing the winning numbers.
Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
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Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:14 am |
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LottomagicZ4941
Senior Member
Cash: $ 1.66
Posts: 2633
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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quote:
Originally posted by LottomagicZ4941
LOL at the unhappy meals
http://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk/559496-yapt-peta-unhappy-meals-targeting-kids.html
Sometimes I laugh at stuff that isn't really funny like the unhappy meals.
Heard this not really funny one on NPR.
The only ship that comes into Oklahoma is hardship.
Did I already tell the why did the MLMer cross the road joke on this thread?
S/he heard there was a downline on the other side.
I can see why ask.com isn't the most popular search. You have to make an effort to see the search results.
Just did a search for downline forum.
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Mon Aug 10, 2009 10:39 pm |
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cashbags
New Member
Cash: $ 0.85
Posts: 4
Joined: 10 Sep 2009
Location: Bristol
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| Shaggy Dog Story |
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A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
Because he's a liar. He never did any of that.
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Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:51 pm |
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LottomagicZ4941
Senior Member
Cash: $ 1.66
Posts: 2633
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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quote:
Originally posted by MarkHarper314
quote:
Originally posted by LottomagicZ4941
Why did superman join Avon? Louis Lane told him to join.
Okay not my best joke but
For my favorite Avon gal.
http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=73527
Her name is Erika. My son's name is Erik and here is his first URL
http://www.flalottomagic.net/?sponsor=Z1212
How come the blond couldn't build a downline?
She kept waisting to much time pealing M & Ms instead promoting
http://www.directmatches.com/default2.asp?site=LottomagicZ4941
and http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=66895
hihihihihihi good one
Glad you enjoyed.
And on a not so funny level customer service at Chase is a joke.
If you want to do me a favor call Ted at 303-244-3257 and tell him his bank fees are evil and excessive. I got nailed $32 for a $5.04 purchace at Taco bell. Had $1400 to put in the bank but thought we still have $50 in the account. Due to birthday itus I didn't make the drop. The the sub human creachers at Chase didnt even care that it was my birthday. Not that they should be finiancially rapeing poeople on other days. I could see $20 as a fair under the limit fee. But $32 is just evil. Totally I was short $24 and they nailed me $96 in late fees. After going to three branches I finally found a decient manaer who took off $45.
Went to the credit union to start my checkin back up with them and their policies are almost as evil. So perhaps it is time that they lose their tax exempt status.
Crapy
Horable
Anoying
stupid
Employees that is what Chase stands for.
I know Chase isn't the only evil bank so here is a which bank is the most evil tread.
http://www.money-talk.org/thread14061.html
Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
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Mon Jan 18, 2010 2:36 pm |
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