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Jokes of the day,share your jokes here.no dirty jokes:)

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donnieyen
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Jokes of the day,share your jokes here.no dirty jokes:)  Reply with quote  

I think that I'm a chicken

Panda Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
Post Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:37 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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LOL I'll be re-e-telling

quote:
Originally posted by donnieyen
I think that I'm a chicken

Panda Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!


How come the chicken couldn't win the lotto?
Cuz he was to chicken to buy a ticket.

How come the lotto playing chicken crossed the road?
To buy a lotto ticket.

Perhaps I should be telling blond jokes instead of chicken jokes.

How come the blond wouldn't use a splash page?
S/he was afraid she would get her computer wet.

How come the golden goose joined a lotto club?
She got to old to lay the golden eggs.

Did you hear about the Amway distributor that won the lotto?
S/he spent it all trying to build a downline.

How come the MLM chicken crossed the road?
She hear there was a downline on the other side.

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
Post Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:27 pm
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bhanvid
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lol! cool chiken., Sad
Post Mon May 11, 2009 8:37 am
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billrainier
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The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Computer-Jokes/The-Less-You-Know,-The-More-You-Make.html
Post Tue May 12, 2009 2:44 am
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coaster
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Location: Wisconsin
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Laughing Laughing Laughing

that's hilarious!!

I suppose all those people are working for the government deciding who gets TARP money Rolling Eyes

~Tim~
Post Tue May 12, 2009 4:39 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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quote:
Originally posted by billrainier
The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Computer-Jokes/The-Less-You-Know,-The-More-You-Make.html
''

From the same website you got that one from

"Money Talks!
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
"

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
Post Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:15 am
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Sime
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Location: United Kingdom
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Two hedgehogs trying to cross the road.

First hedgehog says, "Look it's easy. Watch me. You just sit between the wheels."

The first hedgehog then walks to the middle of the road and stops. A car then drives straight over missing him. The hedgehog then continues to the other side.

"See," he says, "Now it's your turn."

The second hedgehog then takes a deep breath and walks out to the middle of the road. He stops and waits.

Suddenly... Thump! Squish! Splatter!

The first hedgehog looks in shock, opens his mouth slowly and says, "Aww shit. I forgot about robin reliants."

Not all countries can afford... a lavish monarchy.
Post Fri Aug 28, 2009 6:04 pm
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moneymakinmom
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quote:
Originally posted by billrainier
The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Computer-Jokes/The-Less-You-Know,-The-More-You-Make.html


Wow, Laughing this one had me laughing out loud, literally! Very Happy
Post Sat Aug 29, 2009 4:04 am
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moneymakinmom
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Location: Camp Hill, PA
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Two Rednecks are hunting.

One of them accidentally shoots himself.

His friend yanks out his cell phone and dials 911.

"What is your emergency?"

[Panicking]"My friend just shot himself... I think he might be dead."

"Calm down, first... I need you to make sure he's dead."

[With a deep breath] Okay, hold on.

[gunshot in the background]

[Calmly] Okay, he's definitely dead, now what?
Post Sat Aug 29, 2009 4:10 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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quote:
Originally posted by moneymakinmom
Two Rednecks are hunting.

One of them accidentally shoots himself.

His friend yanks out his cell phone and dials 911.

"What is your emergency?"

[Panicking]"My friend just shot himself... I think he might be dead."

"Calm down, first... I need you to make sure he's dead."

[With a deep breath] Okay, hold on.

[gunshot in the background]

[Calmly] Okay, he's definitely dead, now what?


Half to admit that is better then my redneck jokes but here they are anyway.

YOu may be a redneck if you think SEO stands for SearchEveryOne.

How come no one liked the redneck that won the lotto?
Cuz s/he was still a redneck.

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
Post Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:44 pm
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moneymakinmom
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Those aren't so bad. Pretty funny! Laughing
Post Mon Aug 31, 2009 12:31 am
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Sime
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Went to a restaurant to have duck the other night. Delicious but ended up walking home with a bill.

Not all countries can afford... a lavish monarchy.
Post Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:21 pm
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cashbags
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Council Workers....................  Reply with quote  

A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

He answers 'Yes - caffeine'


'Have you ever been in the services?'

'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'


The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, 'Yes ....a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now.

Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM.

You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'


The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?' '

'This is a council job,' the interviewer says.

'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our b*ll*cks, not really any point in you coming in for that.'
Post Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:18 pm
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louissusman
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if u laugh lovers then try this site and keep laughing.


www.jokes.com
Post Sat Sep 12, 2009 2:42 pm
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