| $ on the way and mistakenly spilled the beans |
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nogreed
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| $ on the way and mistakenly spilled the beans |
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So I just found out a few weeks ago I will be coming into a large amount of money, I think somewhere in the neighborhood of 700k but not exacly sure. Anyway, I am pretty set on how I want to invest most of it which is not the problem, and I will be posting in the investing area soon. The family member who informed me also said it would be best to not tell anyone, which I agree with. However, I did tell my girlfriend of 3 years, we live together and our kids get along well but not sure the relationship will last forever. Now Im wishing I had never told her at all. If I decide to leave her, especially before the money comes, she will probably be pissed due to the fact that she will think I am being greedy or now I have enough to sustain myself and might think I was using her... and the possibilities of why it would not be a smooth break go on and on. I have seen the wheels turning in her head when I talk about it, probably anticipating me leaving with my new found $. So, does anyone own a Delorean with a flux capacitor I could barrow? But really, how should I go about smoothing this over if I were to leave? Also, not sure I mentioned, the money is currently in the form of rental properties out of state and aren’t even on the market yet so the value could be off but more importantly it could easily be a year maybe more before I see a dime.
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Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:37 pm |
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MoneyMinded
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| Re: $ on the way and mistakenly spilled the beans |
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quote:
Originally posted by nogreed
So I just found out a few weeks ago I will be coming into a large amount of money, I think somewhere in the neighborhood of 700k but not exacly sure. Anyway, I am pretty set on how I want to invest most of it which is not the problem, and I will be posting in the investing area soon. The family member who informed me also said it would be best to not tell anyone, which I agree with. However, I did tell my girlfriend of 3 years, we live together and our kids get along well but not sure the relationship will last forever. Now Im wishing I had never told her at all. If I decide to leave her, especially before the money comes, she will probably be pissed due to the fact that she will think I am being greedy or now I have enough to sustain myself and might think I was using her... and the possibilities of why it would not be a smooth break go on and on. I have seen the wheels turning in her head when I talk about it, probably anticipating me leaving with my new found $. So, does anyone own a Delorean with a flux capacitor I could barrow? But really, how should I go about smoothing this over if I were to leave? Also, not sure I mentioned, the money is currently in the form of rental properties out of state and aren’t even on the market yet so the value could be off but more importantly it could easily be a year maybe more before I see a dime.
I would tell her that the money is, "tied up in real estate and it looks like I won't even be getting close to that dollar amount and it's going to be tied up for several years." That will give you some time to evaluate your relationship and find out if you even want to move forward with her.
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Thu Sep 22, 2011 5:00 pm |
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nogreed
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Well put, and from the sound of things, isn’t too far from the truth. thanks
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Fri Sep 23, 2011 10:54 am |
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Offshore-Wealth.com
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Interesting,
Well, this is one you will have to think long and hard about or you could end up losing out. First, you seem to be questioning your three years with her, and this is where you have to really get serious about your decision for finding that one love of your life is more important than money in my opinion. Money cannot buy you happiness, and in many cases, it will buy you heartbreak, either by not having enough, or in this case, having too much all at once.
Having told her means you really care, and hopefully love her and she many be the one, but only you can answer this question. Three years is a long committment in this day and age, and money changes everyone, even those devoted and in love, so given this, make sure she is the one you want to stay with and commit to or all the money in the world will not solve your dilemma, a good dilemma, but never the less, you need to make a serious decision now that the cat is out of the bag.
Good luck,
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Fri Sep 23, 2011 4:13 pm |
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Gary Barzel
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You can always tell her it was just a ploy to keep her in the relationship but now you want to come clean with her. Chances are she will leave you and you'll be safe with your money. 
Gary Barzel
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Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:25 am |
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globaldoc2001
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I think you have to just tell the truth. If the money got lost out of gambling, then it is a different story.
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Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:17 am |
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coaster
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quote:
Originally posted by globaldoc2001
I think you have to just tell the truth. If the money got lost out of gambling, then it is a different story.
Just curious why you think it's a different story.....
~Tim~
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Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:11 pm |
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littleroc02us
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So your not married and don't have kids together right? What's the problem your not marrried. Move on.
Romans 13:8 “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”
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Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:51 pm |
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globaldoc2001
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Yes it is also true. If your partner cannot understand you here, it means that you are not meant for each other.
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Tue Sep 27, 2011 11:22 am |
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nogreed
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well, we talked a little. I told her I could see the wheels turning when I brought up the money. I explained to her that money would not be a driving force if I were to ever leave and that when I got it not much would change. Sure ill pay my car off and any small amount of bills but I am looking to tie most of it up in rental properties. I am not quiting my job and not buying a new car, I want nothing "flashy" to come from this.
Still should have never said anything. No matter what I say now or how much I try to prepare to leave it will never go over smoothly. She is a level headed person and wouldnt freak out necessarily, its just that I know what she would be thinking and she would be wrong.
The onyl other thing I can think, is to either stay with her for a while so she reaps some benefit (that probably sounds horrible, Im really not out to hurt anyone I just think I want to help too much) or leave before I get the money.???
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Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:54 pm |
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Kenny Soward
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This is an interesting one.
Being up front is the best way to be. It isn't like you are getting a check in the mail. There sounds like a LOT of work to do before you see any of the money. You might get some now and then some later. You might not sell them for a year and suddenly get them sold all at once.
There's nothing you can do but go on living normally. Just don't bring up the money, and you won't have to see the wheels spinning.
I call this, using your STFU button. Sometimes you want to say something, or share something, but sometimes it is just better to be quiet. 
Kenny Soward, author of The Budget of Your Life; Breaking the Chains of Debt
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Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:25 pm |
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nogreed
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quote:
Originally posted by Kenny Soward
This is an interesting one.
Being up front is the best way to be. It isn't like you are getting a check in the mail. There sounds like a LOT of work to do before you see any of the money. You might get some now and then some later. You might not sell them for a year and suddenly get them sold all at once.
There's nothing you can do but go on living normally. Just don't bring up the money, and you won't have to see the wheels spinning.
I call this, using your STFU button. Sometimes you want to say something, or share something, but sometimes it is just better to be quiet.
Very well put and I think ill try and do just that, not bring it up anymore. The again its not like she's going to forget about it though, not a reason to not try I guess.
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Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:08 pm |
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globaldoc2001
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I have always believed in mutual understanding. I believe there will be a sense of comprehension that will happen should it be that she got to know this. I really guess it is alright.
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Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:41 am |
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