Lindsey23
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| Friends with no money |
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I have friends who didn't save and are one bad event away from living in poverty. One friend keeps afloat with employment but constantly needs cash infusions from relatives, has a stack of credit card bills, and always says she wants to do what I do even though she can't afford it. Another friend has health problems but just cashed out a IRA for some short term goals, lives on credit cards, has no retirement savings, just a small pension.
When I offer advice it is typically rejected, so I don't offer anymore. I try to avoid any conversation that will lead in the direction of finances. But that causes some stress for me.
Unfortunately, these are longtime friends that I would have difficulty removing from my circle. Surely others have this problem?
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Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:48 pm |
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littleroc02us
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I just went through this this weekend with a best friend. I have simply told him my beliefs and how if he ever's wants my help to ask, otherwise it's none of my business. That's all you can do.
Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing. (Warren Buffet)
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Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:25 pm |
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Volume
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I understand your intention to help your friends, but in the end, it takes a special kind of person to figure out the best way to manage your funds. Some people are just not made for wise financial actions, that's it...
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Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:06 am |
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No-Brainer
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Location: Oregon USA
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The key is patience. Surely they are not blind to the success you have had, so just wait until they are ready and decide to take action. If you push, you will just push them away, but they can push themselves when they want to.
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Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:28 pm |
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NolaP
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I have several friends like this as well. If they ask for your help or advice, they are ready for change. If not, like stated above you just have to be patient with them. Hopefully they come around soon. It isn't easy to change lifelong habits.
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Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:43 pm |
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three0033
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I don't think anyone wants to be told how to live their lives. People will only accept critical advice once they realize that they've hit rock bottom. I guess your friends don't realize that they are rock bottom yet.
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Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:11 pm |
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cccfree
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It tough giving people advice when they simply don't want to hear it. I have two friends in similar situation and the funny thing is they are trying to GIVE ME ADVICE when they're both unemployed with no income except, occasionally they fix cell phones from Craig's List ads.
It's frustrating to me but I let it roll of my back like water off a duck, I just keep my mouth shut and when they try to offer some financial advice I simply tell them to, "look at the scoreboard."
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Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:57 pm |
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clintdavis
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I don't think Lindsey is saying that she wants to remove these friends from her circle. But it is important to be intentional and a bit choosy when it comes to who you spend your time with. There's no way around it, the people we spend time with have an impact and influence on our lives, our mood, our attitudes, and our habits.
My wife and I have friends and even family members who tend to have negative and/or "drama" attitudes. And we have made decisions to limit the amount of time we spend with them. It doesn't mean we think they are bad people or that we don't love them. We just don't want to allow that negativity into our lives.
Consider this quote:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” by Jim Rohn.
What do you think?
Thanks for sharing Lindsey.
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Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:38 pm |
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jimmyjhonson
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Yes I had false friends. I was rich kid in school, so everybody wanted to be my friend. For my birthday my mother took me and my friends in a five star restaurant. They were all, like all friendly, they weren't before dinner. I'd say you don't need to surround yourself with these negative people and find someone who refers to you as a person and not the Bank's piggy bank.
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Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:02 pm |
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