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Jokes of the day,share your jokes here.no dirty jokes:)

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mikem86
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I love jokes.com! haha
Post Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:35 pm
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BillK
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Definition of an expert.  Reply with quote  

Someone who knows a lot about a little and learns more and more about less and less and eventually knows everything about nothing! Very Happy
Post Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:46 pm
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robertras
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Hahaha, some of these are pretty good!

Here's a good joke:

3 blonds get up to heaven, and St Peter says he needs to give them a test before they can get in.

To the first he asks, "What holiday is Easter?"

The blond thinks a minute, smiles, then says, "It's when the entire family gets together, we eat turkey and pie and"

St. Peter cut her off and sent her "down below".

To the second he asks the same question, "What holiday is Easter?"

The second blond immediately answers and says, "We set up a big tree, decorate it, and open up presents!"

Quite frustrated, St Peter sends the second blonde to the same place as the first.

To the third blond he asks the same question, "What holiday is Easter?"

"Oh, I know!" The blond replies, "It's when Jesus died, and they put him in the tomb behind the rock, and closed it. 3 days later, they opened it up, and-"

"Thank you!" St Peter sighed

"No wait, I'm not done! Then, if Jesus sees his shadow, it means 6 more weeks of winter!"
Post Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:07 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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quote:
Originally posted by robertras
Hahaha, some of these are pretty good!

Here's a good joke:

3 blonds get up to heaven, and St Peter says he needs to give them a test before they can get in.

To the first he asks, "What holiday is Easter?"

The blond thinks a minute, smiles, then says, "It's when the entire family gets together, we eat turkey and pie and"

St. Peter cut her off and sent her "down below".

To the second he asks the same question, "What holiday is Easter?"

The second blond immediately answers and says, "We set up a big tree, decorate it, and open up presents!"

Quite frustrated, St Peter sends the second blonde to the same place as the first.

To the third blond he asks the same question, "What holiday is Easter?"

"Oh, I know!" The blond replies, "It's when Jesus died, and they put him in the tomb behind the rock, and closed it. 3 days later, they opened it up, and-"

"Thank you!" St Peter sighed

"No wait, I'm not done! Then, if Jesus sees his shadow, it means 6 more weeks of winter!"


LOL that was perty good.

What if Jesus were German? He would have turned the water into beer.

What if Jesus were Babtist or Seventh Day Advantist? He would have turned the wine into water.

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Post Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:41 am
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polybent
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Post Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:42 am
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Sime
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What does a mental health patient and Jesus have in common? They're both in the world but not of the world.

(No offence)

Not all countries can afford... a lavish monarchy.
Post Fri May 28, 2010 1:23 pm
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coaster
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quote:
Originally posted by LottomagicZ4941
What if Jesus were German? He would have turned the water into beer..

Yum! Send him to my house. That sounds better than having my own private tap. Laughing

~Tim~
Post Fri May 28, 2010 3:35 pm
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itmtra
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quote:
Originally posted by moneymakinmom
quote:
Originally posted by billrainier
The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Computer-Jokes/The-Less-You-Know,-The-More-You-Make.html


Wow, Laughing this one had me laughing out loud, literally! Very Happy



Nice and affordable jokes i like its.
Post Sat Sep 25, 2010 11:20 am
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shanecurran
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An economist, a physicist and a chemist are stranded on a deserted island.

Three cans of food wash onto the shore and each of the three men gets a can.

The physicist says "If I take this rock and move it toward this can at an angle of 45 degrees with a velocity of 35 feet per second It will penetrate the top of the can and I can eat the food." Boom he smashes the can and eats the food.

The chemist says "If I mix coconut milk with sand and mashed up leaves it will create an acidic compound that will dissolve the top of the can." Then the chemist mixes his concoction sprinkles it on the can dissolving the top so he can eat the food.

The economist picks up the can and inspects it for a moment before saying, "Now lets assume I had a can opener."

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Post Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:25 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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quote:
Originally posted by shanecurran
An economist, a physicist and a chemist are stranded on a deserted island.

Three cans of food wash onto the shore and each of the three men gets a can.

The physicist says "If I take this rock and move it toward this can at an angle of 45 degrees with a velocity of 35 feet per second It will penetrate the top of the can and I can eat the food." Boom he smashes the can and eats the food.

The chemist says "If I mix coconut milk with sand and mashed up leaves it will create an acidic compound that will dissolve the top of the can." Then the chemist mixes his concoction sprinkles it on the can dissolving the top so he can eat the food.

The economist picks up the can and inspects it for a moment before saying, "Now lets assume I had a can opener."


LOL re-e-posted as soon as I found it. And now for my newest joke.

How come the moron couldn't build a downline?
cuz he had goats instead of goals

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Post Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:54 pm
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Tattersail
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1. When in schools fish will sometimes take debait.

2. If you don't pay your exorcist you might get repossessed.
Post Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:07 pm
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