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LottomagicZ4941
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Joke of the day award:)  Reply with quote  

Joke of the day award:)

Found on http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259109

"A visitor to a mental institution asked the Director how he decided which patients should be kept in...

The Director said "We fill the bath with water, then offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub"

The visitor said "Oh, I see...a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's biggest"

The Director said "No, a normal person would pull the [edited]ing plug out...would you like a bed near the window?"
__________________
Sam xxx "

And now today's advert of the day

Lost my cut and paist advert because I thought this was cool

Visitors Online
United States: 4
Canada: 1
Denmark: 1
United Kingdom: 1
7 visitors in 4 countries
NeoCounter

http://www.heytruebluehits.com/?ref=101


Total visitors
United States: 151
Canada: 33
China: 31
United Kingdom: 26
Netherlands: 15
Germany: 15
India: 9
Bulgaria: 9
France: 9
Malaysia: 8
Singapore: 8
Australia: 7
Hungary: 6
Taiwan: 6
Japan: 5
Sweden: 5
Argentina: 4
Romania: 4
Thailand: 4
Italy: 3
Lithuania: 3
Belgium: 3
Egypt: 3
Spain: 3
Finland: 3
Hong Kong: 2
Mexico: 2
Norway: 2
Poland: 2
Russian Federation: 2
Denmark: 2
Ireland: 1
Kazakstan: 1
Nigeria: 1
New Zealand: 1
Philippines: 1
Pakistan: 1
Barbados: 1
Belarus: 1
Slovenia: 1
Turkey: 1
Colombia: 1
Ukraine: 1
Vietnam: 1
Satellite Provider: 1
399 visitors in 45 countries
NeoCounter

I was just about to send out my safe list advert and when I saw this I cut and paisted it with out thinking!!!

http://www.heytruebluehits.com/?ref=101

Orginal E-mail for the safe list inquired what your 3 favorite surfs were.
http://myfreeadvertisingforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=553

Lotto
http://www.freelottomagic.com/?sponsor=Z1212
MagicZ4941A
PS I'm in a referal contest please join this TE for free http://www.ultracoolsurfin.com/?ref=59
PPS The ultimate comp plan John 3:16

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline
Post Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:54 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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How come the blond couldn't build a downline?

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!
found on
http://www.24hourforums.com/view_topic.php?id=4712&forum_id=87

On a serious note I highly recogmend Link Referal
http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=74204 if you have a website to promote.

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Post Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:41 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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Why did superman join Avon? Louis Lane told him to join.

Okay not my best joke but

For my favorite Avon gal.

http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=73527

Her name is Erika. My son's name is Erik and here is his first URL
[sory url is toast bummer cuz it was a good website]

How come the blond couldn't build a downline?
She kept waisting to much time pealing M & Ms instead promoting
http://www.directmatches.com/default2.asp?site=LottomagicZ4941
and http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=66895

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline


Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:49 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:41 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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A little tempted to post this in the tax section.

But gotta reward the people reading the adverts.

Now please take the time and join Link Referal if you have a decient website to promote.

If you have been temped to join Lotto Magic take the plunge and promote.

And now for a very very funny joke I just E-found.

Ralph and the IRS

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a
demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks.

"I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your
desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way ! this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he
could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that
you'd be happy about it."
__________________

LOL found on
http://forums.hostsearch.com/showthread.php?t=2380

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Post Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:40 pm
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core
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Cash: $ 0.75

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Joined: 19 Apr 2006

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Hi Everyone,

This thing is going to ROCK and make one HECKUVA January for us.

Check it out, you can pre-register now. If you know you can get two who can get two, you're cooking!

http://www.6k4you.com/core

JOIN FOR FREE NOW!


Best Regards,

Hendra Adhi Prasetya
CORE CORPORATION

E-BIZ THAT CONQUERS THE NET!!!

http://www.revolvingtravel.com/rt.cgi/7769/lp4.html
http://www.6k4you.com/6k.cgi/core/lp1.html
http://splash.clubfreedom.biz/cf.cgi/rt7769/lp2.html

The PERFECT MONEY MACHINE is Born!
Post Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:47 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by core
Hi Everyone,

This thing is going to ROCK and make one HECKUVA January for us.

Check it out, you can pre-register now. If you know you can get two who can get two, you're cooking!

http://www.6k4you.com/core

JOIN FOR FREE NOW!


Best Regards,

Hendra Adhi Prasetya
CORE CORPORATION


How come the Jerkey Direct guys don't hyjack my Ted/MLM joke/advert. Really I think Ted could afford to join. Perhpaps he would even market some of his road kill with them. Seriously he may have objections to running them over. I think he perfers the bow and arrow.

Okay and now for a semi orginal joke. I rewote an old one at the end of the below cut and paste.

Bush and the Bible on an SEO forum today's cut and paste advert?

Bush and the Bible on an SEO forum
PS Hum the best place to learn SEO is online
PPS cool 41 craracters remaining:)

LOVEgoesMLM Please help me make my wife's life better
PS Hum the best place to learn SEO is online
PPS Hum since we are getting Bibical today here is a link to my Chruch

"Dear Lord is it true that to you a thousand years is like a second to us?"
Lord responds, "Yea".
SEOer continues"Is it true that you control everything including Google, MSM, and Yahoo?"
Lord laughs, "Yea, not sure why I let Microsoft happen. And why did I let something with the name Google take off?"
SEOer having the Lord God Almighty laughing asks, "Can I have top SEO for all my websites?"
Lord laughs again, "In a second"
Joke orginally posted on http://darksat.x47.net/topic/498.0.html or
SEOer talks with God

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Post Wed Jan 10, 2007 5:13 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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A few more SEO jokes.

Did you hear about the SEOer who got drunk?
Of course not SEO and blood alchol are inversly related.

Did you hear about the SEOer who won the lotto?
Poor guy spent so much time online he never collected.

Newest one is on the redneck thread.
http://www.webworkshop.net/seoforum/viewtopic.php?t=16007

Incase the above thread disapears
"You may be a redneck if you think SEO stands for Search Every One

What I better get out of here. Oh wait Beer 'taint illegal. "

I'm more websurf then master so I can't contribut to much on the art of SEO; but, I can hopefully give you all a chuckel.

Orginally posted on
http://www.webworkshop.net/seoforum/viewtopic.php?t=16063

46 more post and I can have a sig link:)

Will I get an "infraction" for posting it here?
http://forums.digitalpoint.com/showthread.php?p=2101455#post2101455

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Post Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:12 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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[url=http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941
]Did you hear about the beer that won the lotto? It had some premium hops[/url]


Here is another Lotto Joke I haven't shared with this forum. I'm a sick man I have Lotto Feaver

Did you hear about the rabit that won the lotto?


[url=http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941
]It built it's self a big rabit hole.[/url]

The beer and the rabit jokes are new today. The lotto feaver one is fairly new.

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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:56 am; edited 2 times in total
Post Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:06 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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Haven't gone fishing in a long time.

http://goneclicking.com/?rid=1371

Thought this was gonefishing at first.

Did you hear about the fish that won the lotto?

Poor thing died comming on land to try and collect.
http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941
1-877-526-6957 ID Z4941A

You may be an internet addict if you have a bumper sticker that says you would rather be clicking http://goneclicking.com/?rid=1371

orginally posted on
NTC but sadly it is toast now;(

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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:23 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Wed Apr 25, 2007 4:24 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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How come the ghost didn't win the lotto?
He played peak-a-boo instead of the lotto.

You can't win if you don't play so join today
http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941

I'll also put you in rotaton on my 4 lucky surfs.

http://hitali.com?r=63639
http://clickingirish.com?r=58597
http://trafficbunnies.com/splash/bunnymouse.php?r=58138
http://emeraldclicks.com?r=59681

The old LM site actually may get better reviews on
http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=66895 as the only complaint has been on the pop up which the old site doesn't have.

This offer is good for the next 3 LM players to join under Z1212 or Z4941. If your already existing I'll also put you in rotation if you E-mail me that you would appricate some promotion your way.

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:23 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:07 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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How come the train wouldn't play the lotto?

Because it was already loaded;)

If your not loaded you should join the best lotto club

How come the ghost didn't win the lotto?
He played peak-a-boo instead of the lotto.

You can't win if you don't play so join today
http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941

or 1-877-526-6957 ID Z4941 for a free info pack.

Non promotional Facebook Jail regular forum inquiry
Promotional post in advert section for new Facebook group for those building a downline


Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:24 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Thu Jul 05, 2007 10:12 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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How come the hippy couldn't claim his winning lotto ticket?

Because he smoked it;)

Thought this one up thanks to http://emeraldclicks.com?r=59681

adding text adverts. Plus the person with the hippy advert in rotation next to my lotto text adverts.

Text adverts in rotation

Why did Spock join a lottoclub
Because it is the most logical way to play

http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941

The Best Lotto Club
Be in profit fast with 50% comish on personally sponsored teamcaptains

http://www.lottomagiconline.com/?Z4941

FREE Lotto Pool Entry **FREE**
Message box is gone but a link is still there for you to get free ent'
http://www.freelottomagic.com/?sponsor=Z1212

My Lucky 4 Surfs plus a really
+ a really good traffic exhange
use to link to NTC but it is now toast;(

I've joined 100+ TEs and this
And this is the best one. Review and get reviewed!!!
http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=102684

Previously posted on
the now toast NTC;(

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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:25 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:27 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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What is the difference between pigs and SEOs?
You can learn to respect a pig.
Found on

http://www.v7n.com/forums/seo-forum/27544-funny-seo-jokes.html What have pig's & SEO's got in common?


Re-e-posted on
http://michaelburns.ws/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=47&p=558#p558 previously posted on NTC but since NTC is toast I did an edit job.

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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
Post Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:21 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Cash: $ 1.66

Posts: 2640
Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Location: Earth
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Did you hear about the extentalist that won the lotto?

S/he chose to buy a ticket. 1-877-526-6957 ID Z4941A for FREE info on the best lotto club.

Orginally posted on
NTC which is now toast. Totally miss NTC.

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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:25 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:01 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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Why did the blond join Digg?
Because she missed her dog.

Previously posted on
http://www.freeadvertisingzone.com/showthread.php?p=24064#post24064
and re-e-posted on
NTC which is now edited out due to being toast;(

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Last edited by LottomagicZ4941 on Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:22 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:50 am
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